Please Say Their Name

What is it like to have your child die?

Krissy Christensen, a New Zealand celebrant, has many friends and relatives who have experienced the loss of a child – through miscarriage, stillbirth, death as a child or young person, or death of an adult child.

This book contains some of their stories – told in their own words. Their stories talk about their shock, disbelief, bewilderment, anger, loneliness and more. But the stories also show their resilience and the different ways in which they, as parents, address their grief and learn to live with it.

Krissy’s experiences of listening to, and supporting, many of her friends and others who have lost children underpin her belief that there is no such thing as ‘getting over it’ or ‘closure’. Rather, grief changes over time. There are ways to learn to live with the ongoing grief.

There are helpful ways to support those living with grief as well as some very unhelpful things which are often said – usually with the best of intentions.

This book is not an academic study of grief and loss. Nor does it attempt to be a comprehensive ‘self-help’ guide to either parents who have lost a child or those who are supporting them. Yet, as well as the stories themselves showing the range of ways in which people address their loss, this book contains much wisdom about the nature of this type of grief and has helpful suggestions for both grieving parents and for those who support them.